“Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.”
photo by Esra Gunaydin
A few days after new year eve I was surfing on internet when a video shared in facebook page of the blog that I am following caught my attention. It was about “why people begin every new year with lots of resolutions that cannot been achieved and postponed to the next year”. For instance, doing sports regularly, healthy nourishment; lose weight, saving money aside every month, etc. Until today, I also put such goals for myself but unfortunately i haven’t been successful at all.
After watching this video I understood why I couldn’t succeed. Because I didn’t know how to set my real goal!!!
Well, then how should we put our targets right? What do we do wrong on setting goals?
First we should distinguish the “goal” and what “to do” to achieve them. It is very important since most people cannot differentiate them and put the “to do” as a target. However they are only “to do” and not the target.
Take me as an example.. I want to do breathing exercise, meditation and writing blog regularly. Before watching this video,I was striving a lot and trying to be very disciplined for a few days. After that, I find very good excuses to question my discipline.
When I considered these targets again, i definitely realised that they are only “to do” not a target. And there was no a real goal L
Everything in a “to do” list should serve a clear goal and give us a benefit. Otherwise we question why we keep on doing them regularly. That’s why unless we have a real goal, we cannot achieve to adopt that “to do” into our daily life.
Let’s turn back to my case. Well then what was my goal?
After watching the video, all of the thoughts spread over my mind in pieces came together. Like a puzzle, meaningless pieces gave a meaning when they came together. The answer I’m looking for is now obvious. The scattered state of mind I had written in detail in “What’s my life purpose?” article became crystal clear.
I understood that, the real value that I expect from these daily activities were “awareness”, awareness of myself, my life and the universe that i live in. When I put out a clear goal, consistency and continuity for “to do” was inevitable.
The best thing is, I also noticed many other ways to reach my goal than I supposed as the best way. For example, the idea of writing this blog turned out in this way. By writing, I can organize my thought and improve my awareness. However by sharing them on my blog, not only I will help others, and also I let others to help me by sharing their comments in this environment.
You can also review the goals you put yourself so far. Are they real targets or “to do” lists. If you see that they are “to do’s, ask yourself that “what is the real purpose of doing it?”. If you are honest to yourself, your answer will take you to the main goal. After defining your main goal, you will realize many more ways to achieve it. And you will easily adopt the most suitable ones into your life.
Let’s assume you say “my goal is losing 5 kg weight this year”. In fact, this can not be a real goal. It may only be an item in your “to do” list which leads you to your main goal. So what is your real purpose you expect from losing weight? To be more healthy? To feel better? To boost your self-confidence?
Let’s assume that your answer is “to increase confidence in myself”. The next question will be “Why do I lack confidence”. You will notice that, being overweight is not the only reason. You will realize that there are lots of reasons and lots of things “to do” to increase it, Now you have a real goal and a “to do” list. Then the only thing you need is take ACTION!
“To want something does not mean to say “I want” but take action”
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